Jack Browne, Wichita Falls Times Record News
Sunday, September 20, 2026
The Family We Choose
You don’t pick your family, but you do pick your friends.
Some friends become the family you wish you had and need.
I’ve come to appreciate the truth hidden in those simple words. Family is our starting point. Friends are often our choice.
Somewhere along life’s journey, the lines begin to blur. The people who show up consistently, celebrate our victories, sit quietly beside us during disappointments, and answer the phone when we call become much more than acquaintances.
They become family by choice.
Most of us begin life surrounded by relatives. We inherit traditions, personalities, strengths, and expectations long before we understand them. Some families provide endless encouragement. Others teach resilience through adversity.
Regardless of the circumstances, family plays a significant role in shaping who we become.
Yet adulthood teaches another important lesson: relationships are not sustained by DNA alone.
Casual relationships are easy. Deep friendships require commitment. They require showing up when it is inconvenient, listening when there are no solutions, and staying connected when life becomes busy.
The friends who become family are rarely the loudest people in our lives. More often, they are the most dependable.
They remember our struggles, celebrate our successes without envy, and remind us who we are when self-doubt begins to cloud our vision.
As I reflect, many of my most meaningful friendships emerged from shared experiences rather than deliberate planning. Some came through work. Others through church, volunteer activities, coaching, community organizations, or neighborhood connections.
We started as people working on a common task and gradually became people who genuinely cared about one another.
The relationship evolved because someone took the first step. Someone offered help. Someone shared encouragement. Someone invested time.
One of the gifts of aging is recognizing how many people have helped us along the way. Teachers, mentors, supervisors, coworkers, neighbors, and friends all leave fingerprints on our lives. Their investment creates an obligation to make a similar investment in others.
I was reminded of this recently while having coffee with a dear friend I had not seen in more than three years. She now has new lungs and a kidney after a long and difficult medical journey, but she possesses the same generous heart she has always shared with others.
For three hours we exchanged stories. We laughed about new adventures. We shared the losses of family members and friends. At times we cried together. The conversation flowed effortlessly, as if no time had passed at all.
Eventually her husband called to remind her of the time. Neither of us realized that three hours had disappeared so quickly.
As we said goodbye, we both moved forward into our new adventures renewed, refreshed, and strengthened by the simple gift of being together.
That’s what real friendship does.
Today’s world offers countless ways to connect, yet many people feel increasingly isolated. Technology helps us communicate, but meaningful relationships still require something technology cannot provide: presence.
Whether it is sharing a cup of coffee, making a phone call, attending a community event, or simply checking in on someone, relationships grow through intentional effort.
Perhaps that is why chosen families are so powerful. They remind us that belonging is not based solely on where we come from. Belonging is also created by where we invest ourselves.
Life is not measured solely by accomplishments, titles, or possessions. It is measured by the people who walk beside us and the impact we leave on one another.
The family we are given shapes our beginning. The family we choose often shapes our future.
The richness of life comes from the friends who matter.
So be one who matters.
Give because others have given to you. Encourage because someone encouraged you. Invest in people and watch them bloom and flourish. In the process, you’ll discover that your own life grows richer as well.
Act as if today were your last opportunity. Reach out to someone important to you. Tell them why they matter. Thank them for their friendship. Let them know the difference they have made in your life.
What other gift could we give, or receive, that carries such lasting value?
Jack Browne is a community activist and former technology executive who believes in the power of connection, service, and lifelong learning.
PS. Also this past week, I went dove hunting with a friend in the late afternoon. He didn’t bring his gun; I didn’t have my hunting license — so our three hours was a review and discussion of how we are doing and some stories about choices and outcomes that renews our friendship. We didn’t have to clean doves as we parted!