Paying it Forward: Grudges are heavy, unhealthy
Wronged, now in a state of fight or flight. Stessors, resentments, children, work, "Honey?" Relax, breathe in, its just life. Enjoy the moment, make a difference.
You were wronged, the other person took your parking place, etc. One random interaction can remove all joy from your day.
An organization can deliver pitiful and incomplete service. Determined to protect yourself from a repeat, you relive it over and over, examining the situation from all perspectives. You keep an eye out to be sure it doesn’t happen again, thinking this will protect you.
And the next day, another bad interaction happens. Perhaps you become more upset at this new insult. Others notice and may even avoid interacting with you. Add a couple of other normal life stressors, like bills and children and one is feeding a number of resentments while unfavorable thoughts of negatively darken your personality and optimism fades.
Reliving these experiences can become a never-ending repeat with the same intense stress levels as the original occurrence. Your brain chemistry stays in fight or flight stage, as you constantly look to protect yourself. Your health can even suffer, physically and mentally. You may become isolated by your actions, overwhelmed by these events or even withdraw in depression.
Finding a way to release the resentments and control is an alternative to ongoing resentful grudges. Thinking we control situations and other people can be unlearned as we learn we control how we chose to react.
Counseling is available 24x7. In our multicounty area, Helen Farabee Centers are available at 800-621-8504. Find other locations at https://resources.hhs.texas.gov/pages/find-services or by calling 211.

If you or a loved one is having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
Family situations may propagate these types of actions as parents’ repeat what they saw growing up. And the cycle of resentments repeats. Genetics or learned behavior, it takes an effort for a family to right the ship.
Understanding that most slights weren’t intended to hurt us allows one to excuse an occurrence and focus on the positive elements of an engagement with another. Looking for the positive in an interaction, smooths the emotions of everyone around us.
Today, Groundhog Day will predict that the lousy weather will last six more weeks, if he sees his shadow. But if he doesn't, then spring will come a lot quicker. Don’t resent the Groundhog, he has no more control of the weather than you or I.
We unnecessarily complicate our lives by overlooking the simplest advice. Treat others as we would like to be treated. Respect for each individual. Underpromise and overdeliver.
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The time is always right to do the right thing.”
It's the right time to volunteer and serve others. Give service, and receive serenity.
Published Wichita Falls Times Record News, Trends Section, Sunday February 2, 2025.
Jack Browne is a community activist and technology engineer, sales and marketing executive at Motorola, MIPS Technologies and other companies. How are the children doing?